Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
