I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
