honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
