she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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