i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
