he thought i was a dude.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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