dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
