what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
