You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
