rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
