It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
