The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
