Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
