This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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