At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
