member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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