Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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