We're facebook friends in real life
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
