Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
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