I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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