hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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