paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
