have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
