I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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