ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
