in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
