all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
