i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
