I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
