I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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