I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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