after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
