i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
is it fun? or sober?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize