you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize