I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
