do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There's always time for handjobs
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
