Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Did I show you my penis last night?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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