I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
