no you cant smoke seaweed
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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