I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
