I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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