i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just pee around me
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
