I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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