wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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