I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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