Life is so much better after having sex.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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