i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize