You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
