I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Oh god it's open bar.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
