I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
