I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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