WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
