I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
