She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
