no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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