Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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