I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
