Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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